In my last entry, I ended with “Stay tuned for my coming entry on self-love” as if there were going to be a few entries in between. Well, nope. I got excited (and we got new groups in my blogging class so I have a new audience - hey y'all!). That being said, we are talking about self-love this week.
I never know if certain concepts are simply becoming overwhelmingly popular in mainstream society, or if I am just getting to the age where these concepts are bound to meet the college girl’s eye. Whatever the case is, everybody is talking about self-love and I love it. I often find myself virtually bumping into quotes, captions, statuses, pictures, memes, and lyrics centered around the idea of self-love. In fact, as I was taking a twitter break from writing this entry, look what served as my gentle reminder to get back to writing:
I am telling you! This self-love stuff is no joke. And @MostlyAware is one hundred percent right. Self-love will most definitely heal you. I can testify to the healing powers of self-love. What does self-love look like for me, you ask? Self-love to me can be listening to a day-long Pop Smoke playlist (rest in peace, my love), dealing myself a joker in my family card game, ignoring O’s phone calls, or getting my monthly acrylic full set (or what was monthly before the ‘Rona shut down all nail salons). While this seems like a relatively long list, my journey to self-love was long and dreary. Truth be told, my journey isn’t even over yet.
One thing I can say is it is so much more than hearing people say “love yourself”. The journey to self-love takes a lot of intentionality, boundaries, and control. I began my journey to self-love during my freshman year of college. After spending countless nights crying between the four walls of my single dorm room with the same sob story of “he’s hasn’t talked to me” or “he’s said/did something disrespectful", I decided something had to give. For some people, it is one single situation that puts that on the first train to self-love, but for me, it was a combination of things. And when all those things came together, there was no turning back. I can’t lie, self-love isn’t always clean cut. Sometimes, I still take more shit than I deserve or answer a call from a toxic ex, but I made a vow to my freshman year self that I will never love anyone more than I love myself ever again and I will always stand on that.
The most climactic part of my journey is continuing to choose myself in all situations. Since my freshman year, I have been taking baby steps in prioritizing what is best for me. Freshman year, it was putting my phone on do not disturb and going out to a party on campus. Sophomore year, it was staying back from a night out with the girls to decompress. Junior year, it is FINALLY detaching myself from O’s family and cutting all strings attached.
Like I said, my journey to self-love is ongoing so I don’t have the master excel sheet on how to achieve the ultimate form of self-love. Even if I did have the master excel sheet, the journey looks different for everyone. So, I couldn't promise that it would be much use to you. But before starting this entry I read this blog from Psychology Today that outlines a universal “Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love”. It was a great read and a good start for anyone looking to start (or continue) their own self-love journey. Comment below on your experiences with self-love or maybe the lack thereof.
“It’s not your job to like me...it’s mine” -Bryon Katie
I am a third year English Arts major on the Pre-Law track at the illustrious Hampton University. I am deciding to step outside of my comfort zone (and academic curriculum) to join the blogosphere.